The Geshrey is being published as a public service. The more time spent reading it the more time spent at home. Staying home is one of the best ways to avoid contracting the coronavirus. (No, staying home to read The Geshrey is not punishment.)
In the last issue (No. 14) I reported that T-rump was trying to improve his vocabulary by learning synonyms because he wanted to be as smart as a two-year old. Here are some of the synonyms he learned:
“U-licious” (referring to President “Ulysses” S. Grant.)
“Cap-sicle” (capsule)
“Infantroopen” (infantrymen)
“Sahhven” (sovereign.)
“Renoversh” (renovation)
“Mishima” (missiles)
“Proh-ess” (Your guess is as good as mine.)
“Heroilynn” (heroin)
“Con-ducking” (conducting.)
“Deligitimatize”
“Asbadidizziz” (As bad as it is?)
“sta-ticks” and “such-tick-sis” (Statistics)
“Lice rofe” (your guess is as good as mine)
“Surgeoned” (Surgeon)
“Transpants” (transplants)
“Lawmarkers” (lawmakers)
“Thee-er supply chern” (the supply chain)
“Rusher”(Russia)
“Oranges” (origins)
“Epensiss” (expensive)
“Raydoh” (radio)
“Nazzeez” (Nazis, pronounced correctly it should be “Natzis”)
“Liberal..ation” (liberation)
“Eastwisemen” (Your guess is as good as mine.)
“Benefishers” (beneficial)
“Stankchuary” (sanctuary)
“Criminacle” (criminal)
“Armed forsiva” (forces)
“Internate” (internet)
“Transjija” (Your guess is as good as mine,)
“Penin-shula” (peninsula)
“Midturn” (midtown)
“Apliculibulls” (applicable)
“Obstuulz” (obstacles?)
“Chris” response (“crisis” response)
“Ermer” (like in Hurricane Irma)
Obamna (guess.)
Michael “Aviante” (referring to lawyer Michael Avenatti)
“Merry Chrissus erry” (Merry Christmas everybody)
“Slock Rocket” (stock market)
“Chhasms” (chasms)
“Foistered” (as in “…ever foistered on the American People.”)
“Enentheannnouced therewqsnobyesno” (Did I spell this right?)
“Bipartiss solucius” instead of “bipartisan solution.”
“9/elective” (9/11)
“In twenty-thousand fourteen” (2014)
“Airputs ranned” (I hove no idea what he was saying.)
“Accomplimenshayz” (Accomplishments)
“Missuria” (Missouri)
“Mini-on-apolis” (Minneapolis)
“Venes waylass,” “Venezwellzso,” and “Venezwhalezz” (three tries in one sentence for Venezuela)
“Jaroozum” (Jerusalem)
“Duurrrr”(yes, “duurrr.”)
United “Shaysh” (States)
—-Thanks to The Daily Show with Trevor Noah.
When T-rump said, “I know words. I have the best words,” I guess he was telling the truth. The proof is in the pudding. T-rump has accomplished what I thought was an impossible dream. These new words prove he is as smart as a two-year old. In America no goal is too high to reach.
The Biden and Sanders’ campaigns, in deference to the coronavirus pandemic, canceled rallies. (The speech that Biden gave celebrating his victories in the second “Super Tuesday” was only in front of his campaign staff and cameramen. There were no supporters in the room.)
In opposition to Sanders and Biden, T-rump originally had decided to not cancel his upcoming political events. This is what I originally wrote about in this Issue. However, between writing this issue and publishing it, T-rump had a change of mind and canceled his next two events due to the coronavirus pandemic. This change of heart ruined the point I wanted to make, that he did not want to cancel his upcoming events because he wanted to use his new words. Now expect a barrage of tweets. If you do not understand everything in T-rump’s tweets have your two-year old explain it to you.
I heard T-rump’s speech from the Oval Office. There was no specifics about testing. Ron Klain, Obama’s Ebola Czar, said people should not have to wait for symptoms to get tested. Everyone should be tested. This is what is being done in the rest of the world. South Korea is testing 10,000 people per day. The U.S. has tested only 5,000 people total. T-ump spoke about low interest loans to small business but nothing about people who must stay home without pay. He spoke about the insurance companies waiving the co-pays for testing, nothing about people who have no health insurance. Sorry, nothing to joke about here.
How to stay safe (hopefully) in this pandemic environment:
— Wash your hands several times a day for at least 40 to 60 seconds.
— Stop touching your face.
— Watch for these symptoms: fever, cough, shortness of breath.
— If you’re sick, stay home. If you’re worried you might be infected, CALL your doctor or urgent care clinic, do not just show up without calling first. They need to prepare and give you instructions.
— Try to limit as much as possible interactions with other people. Avoid big crowds (actually, in my uneducated opinion, try to avoid even small crowds.) Unless necessary, again in my uneducated opinion, avoid public transportation. Avoiding airplanes is in the news, but is riding in an airplane different than riding in a bus or train? Close contact is close contact.
Didja know that experts still aren’t sure if pets can get the coronavirus. Pet owners who contract the coronavirus should isolate themselves from their pets out of an abundance of caution.
Didja know that phones have been shown to harbor ten times more bacteria than toilet seats? —-via Benjamin Levin, CNN Underscored
Kellyanne Conway, T-ump’s long serving spokesperson, said that the coronavirus is being contained. Today there are over 1200 cases, more than twice as many as there were when she made that statement a few days ago. I really dislike Conway because she is a serial liar but I applaud her because she is one of T-rump’s oldest supporters who is not in jail or going to jail.
Didja know that Ariana Grande was the most tweeted about woman in the past year, topping Hillary Clinton and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, writes Axios’ Marisa Fernandez, via data reported by Twitter.
Most-tweeted-about women globally:
1 Ariana Grande
2 Beyoncé
3 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
4 Halsey
5 Hillary Clinton—-Axios AM
I suspect that the study did not include T-rump’s tweets about Nancy Pelosi because the researchers did not want to skew the results by including a serially deranged tweeter.
Didja know that according to a 2018 study from Massachusetts Institute of Technology, false news spreads more rapidly on the social network Twitter than real news does. (Thanks NPR) Do you suppose this is why so many millions of people so quickly know what T-rump has tweeted? (I wonder if the finding that truth spreads more slowly than lies can also apply to websites like The Geshrey? I notice that what I write about spreads slowly.)
Didja know that thirdhand smoke – the tobacco contaminants that cling to a smoker’s body – can transfer to surfaces where smoking has never occurred, like walls, carpets and similar surfaces in a movie theater. Over the course of a movie, exposure levels can equal 1-10 cigarettes. —via CNN Health
“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and they they get elected to prove it. — P.J. O’Rourke.
In the past I have consistently warned everyone to sleep with one eye open. This is to protect against you-know-who. There is another reason. Sleeping with one eye open increases flashes of brilliance during the night. With one eye open you will see them. How do you think I find things to write about. Do you really think The Geshrey is composed when I am awake?